What is it about application processes that give you the full effing range of emotions in a very short space of time? Been doing a hefty amount of these in the past 3 months; funding for new project ideas, extra freelance contracts and the normal balance of yes and no responses. I always forget how much you sometimes need to get your bullet proof bomber jacket on to deal with it; from the odd part of selling yourself smartly and then waiting for other people’s opinions. This time there’s been a shift and I’m not so into what the answer brings.

The time, it’s actually been precious to be able to crystallise long under the radar ideas and work out what’s the next step in the career. One particular application has sent me on a journey of deep reflection and encouraged me to poke again at why I’m doing all this. It’s given me serous headaches and the biggest relief sighs all at the same time. I’m learning the craft of how to write positively about yourself but explaining where you need help. Showing your holes in the best possible light. Still got a few more drafts to go on this one so more brain and heart crunching ahead. Ready.